30 Ways to Celebrate 30

Well it's now been nearly a month since my birthday. I am officially 30 and my entrance into this new decade has certainly been memorable - the arrival of my first child, my younger brother getting married, becoming a professor, moving to another country. A family friend of ours gave me a birthday card that provides a comical list of thirty rather remarkable, ridiculous activities to celebrate the arrival of one's third decade. I've made great progress. Here's what I've got so far:

1) Shop till you drop - after arriving in Montreal, Mitali and I realized that we had *way* more stuff (stuff = books & clothes) than we had shelf and drawer space in our new apartment. On top of that, I needed a desk. Last Saturday we took a bus to Ikea, dropped a load of cash on unassembled furniture, and considered the problem solved.

2) Eat cookie dough - Martin, one of our neighbors, brought us an extremely delicious apple-cranberry pie to welcome us to Montreal. We attempted to reciprocate by making him some oatmeal-chocolate chip cookies. I had a quick sample prior to cooking them. Sadly, they were better before we put them in the oven. Don't worry Martin, we're working on something else...

3) Quit your job - As a graduate student, I moonlighted doing some database programming for Texas Children's Hospital. While I enjoyed working on the project and with the staff there, having a baby, writing grants, advising students, teaching, and conducting research seems like enough to keep me busy for now.

4) Buy some bling - Familiar with the song "Whatever you like" by T.I.? That's pretty much what life has been like since arriving in Montreal. Want an iPhone? Boom - got 'em. Need that tray of strawberries? Done. A cabinet would look good in the corner? Bam - saw it, liked it, bought it. $150 for a work visa? Please! I'll pay you in cash. Baby wants some clothes? Here's a $50 - toss in some diapers while you're at it. Need some wheels for the weekend? Hey Enterprise, give me the biggest you've got, I'm takin' my ladies out on the town. Admittedly, I'm a little scared to see our credit card statement this month. But the ride has been fun.

5) Speed date - Nothing says "sensitive, responsible, considerate male" like strapping a baby to yourself and hitting the town. With Sonya's help I've gotten more glances from the ladies in two weeks than in the thirty years leading up to this transition. A quick note for gentlemen looking to use this technique: despite the furtive glances, I can't guarantee that you'll round the bases any time soon - it's a bit hard to swing for the back fence when you've got a baby on the front of you and her mother holding your hand.

6) Sing karaoke - Every night is Karaoke night at our house. Sonya starts screaming and Mitali and I start singing ... anything. We hit her up with everything from "Old MacDonald" to singles from the Eagle's to Beyonce's latest, "Halo". Sometimes I leave the bedroom window open to let the neighbors in on the fun.

7) Do the birthday dance - I'm not really clear on what the "birthday dance" is, but if it involves bouncing, rocking, or swinging a baby or cleaning up regurgitated milk, then I've done it ... many times.

8) Streak - This has now become part of the daily shower routine in our apartment. To get to our clothes, we scamper freshly washed from the bathroom, through the kitchen, past two large windows overlooking our neighbor's porch about 10 feet away, and into the bedroom which provides viewing to two other neighbors. Blinds installation might be in our future.

9) Wish for something outrageous - a full night's sleep? That didn't seem too outrageous at the beginning of the summer, but it certainly don't seem too realistic any more.

10) Party! Party! Party! - Let's see ... hanging out with someone who loves to make noise, stay up late, and drink a lot. I'd say our life has been one big party for the past two months!

11) Eat cake - I received and helped to consume two really delicious cakes for my birthday. My mom made a family favorite - peanut butter chocolate. Mitali's mom (who I call "Ma") brought home a three layer ice cream cake. We miss you guys! (And not just because of your cooking)

12) Play spin the bottle - on the to-do list.

13) Take a hot air balloon ride - also on the to-do list.

14) Bungee jump from a bridge - Will have to wait until Sonya has better head-control.

15) Date online - Haven't had a chance! We're still waiting for internet at the apartment. What really astonished me here in Canada, though, is that all internet plans give you an amount of data you can transfer per month. They may as well charge me per liter of air I breathe.

16) Moon somebody - see #8.

17) Pimp your ride - we don't have a car yet, but did rent one last week to drive to the US border to get Sonya's visa (long story). We figured that, while we had it, we may as well move our mountain of suitcases from the hotel to the apartment and go get some essentials at Walmart. In order to accommodate all our stuff, I upgraded our rental car to the largest sedan size they had - but declined the spinner rims option.

18) Get shot out of a cannon - I'm guessing that, if all goes well, the experience leaves a person disoriented, deaf, and with a pounding headache. Up until about five days ago, Sonya would regularly scream inconsolably for about two hours every night. I think the only difference between these two activities is that, in the aftermath, we didn't smell like gunsmoke.

19) Kiss a stranger - Here in Montreal they observe many French customs, one of them being the two-cheek smooch greeting/farewell. Since arriving I've had an opportunity to peck a fair number of unfamiliar faces.

20) Splurge on something frivolous - Messenger bags are the *thing* here in Montreal. Everybody wears them! I went out and purchased a bag made by ManhattanPortage. A frivolous purchase? Certainly not - the bag is just the right size for my laptop! On the other hand, Mitali observed that I already own two backpacks and three laptop messenger bags - all in perfect condition. She might have a point there, but I'm considering the question still open for debate.

21) Go skinny dipping - The one way we've found Sonya likes taking a bath is if I hold her through it. As she's now outgrown the sink, there's really no way for me to do this except by getting into the bathtub as well.

22) Runaway and join the circus - I think the circus might seem just a bit too tame after the past two months of our life.

23) Go crazy - Done. See #1 - #30.

24) Drop it like it's hot - If by "it", you mean Sonya just after she's had a huge, diaper-busting, leaking-out-the-back, looks-like-mustard poops, then I can check this one off. Mitali and I often jockey to be the one *not* to change these, which often turns into something that probably looks a bit like hot potato (played with a baby) to the casual observer.

25) Play strip poker - What's strip poker but gambling while taking off clothes? This is basically the definition of changing Sonya's diaper. The Play: remove her first diaper. The Wager: she's going to pee all over. If she does, you start peeling off her urine-soaked clothes (the Strip). If your luck has really run out, she manages to get you too and you start taking off some of your clothes as well.

26) Write your memoir - Started this blog! I hope that counts...

27) Go skydiving - Still on the to-do list.

28) Call a party line - Not really necessary since Montreal is pretty much the strip/topless bar capitol of North America (according to GQ, what lacks in quantity, they have in quality). What's really handy is that downtown they put these animated neon signs in their windows which leave little to the imagination. This way you get to be part of the action for no charge at all.

29) Cry over lost youth - Sonya is getting older! About a week ago she started smiling. She's now starting to get interactive. Every day she seems to develop some new aspect of her personality. And while it's so exciting to see her growing up, I can't help but feel a welling nostalgia when I realize that she'll never be the way she was yesterday again.

30) Live it up! - These past few weeks, Mitali and I often look at each other and agree that we are happier now than we have ever been. I don't think it is despite all the changes and demands being placed on us. I'm certain that it's *because* of the long nights, the screaming, the dirty diapers, the quiet moments of holding a cooing Sonya, the random shopping trips, discovering Montreal, assembling furniture, unpacking, and setting up my office. I truly feel alive every moment of every day. I'm not under any delusions that I'm enjoying every moment, in the sense of non-stop fun. Nonetheless, it is a great blessing to live so that every moment is building on the last and that not a single second slips by unnoticed and untouched.