It's now been nearly three months since Sonya was born. In that short time I have learned extensive amounts about patience, priorities, and time-management. Sonya is no longer a new little baby; she is my daughter.

Through this journey, Mitali has been a tireless, supportive, and loving Adventure Buddy. She made this video-picture montage to commemorate my two months of fatherhood. I am so blessed to be part of this little family.

30 Ways to Celebrate 30

Well it's now been nearly a month since my birthday. I am officially 30 and my entrance into this new decade has certainly been memorable - the arrival of my first child, my younger brother getting married, becoming a professor, moving to another country. A family friend of ours gave me a birthday card that provides a comical list of thirty rather remarkable, ridiculous activities to celebrate the arrival of one's third decade. I've made great progress. Here's what I've got so far:

1) Shop till you drop - after arriving in Montreal, Mitali and I realized that we had *way* more stuff (stuff = books & clothes) than we had shelf and drawer space in our new apartment. On top of that, I needed a desk. Last Saturday we took a bus to Ikea, dropped a load of cash on unassembled furniture, and considered the problem solved.

2) Eat cookie dough - Martin, one of our neighbors, brought us an extremely delicious apple-cranberry pie to welcome us to Montreal. We attempted to reciprocate by making him some oatmeal-chocolate chip cookies. I had a quick sample prior to cooking them. Sadly, they were better before we put them in the oven. Don't worry Martin, we're working on something else...

3) Quit your job - As a graduate student, I moonlighted doing some database programming for Texas Children's Hospital. While I enjoyed working on the project and with the staff there, having a baby, writing grants, advising students, teaching, and conducting research seems like enough to keep me busy for now.

4) Buy some bling - Familiar with the song "Whatever you like" by T.I.? That's pretty much what life has been like since arriving in Montreal. Want an iPhone? Boom - got 'em. Need that tray of strawberries? Done. A cabinet would look good in the corner? Bam - saw it, liked it, bought it. $150 for a work visa? Please! I'll pay you in cash. Baby wants some clothes? Here's a $50 - toss in some diapers while you're at it. Need some wheels for the weekend? Hey Enterprise, give me the biggest you've got, I'm takin' my ladies out on the town. Admittedly, I'm a little scared to see our credit card statement this month. But the ride has been fun.

5) Speed date - Nothing says "sensitive, responsible, considerate male" like strapping a baby to yourself and hitting the town. With Sonya's help I've gotten more glances from the ladies in two weeks than in the thirty years leading up to this transition. A quick note for gentlemen looking to use this technique: despite the furtive glances, I can't guarantee that you'll round the bases any time soon - it's a bit hard to swing for the back fence when you've got a baby on the front of you and her mother holding your hand.

6) Sing karaoke - Every night is Karaoke night at our house. Sonya starts screaming and Mitali and I start singing ... anything. We hit her up with everything from "Old MacDonald" to singles from the Eagle's to Beyonce's latest, "Halo". Sometimes I leave the bedroom window open to let the neighbors in on the fun.

7) Do the birthday dance - I'm not really clear on what the "birthday dance" is, but if it involves bouncing, rocking, or swinging a baby or cleaning up regurgitated milk, then I've done it ... many times.

8) Streak - This has now become part of the daily shower routine in our apartment. To get to our clothes, we scamper freshly washed from the bathroom, through the kitchen, past two large windows overlooking our neighbor's porch about 10 feet away, and into the bedroom which provides viewing to two other neighbors. Blinds installation might be in our future.

9) Wish for something outrageous - a full night's sleep? That didn't seem too outrageous at the beginning of the summer, but it certainly don't seem too realistic any more.

10) Party! Party! Party! - Let's see ... hanging out with someone who loves to make noise, stay up late, and drink a lot. I'd say our life has been one big party for the past two months!

11) Eat cake - I received and helped to consume two really delicious cakes for my birthday. My mom made a family favorite - peanut butter chocolate. Mitali's mom (who I call "Ma") brought home a three layer ice cream cake. We miss you guys! (And not just because of your cooking)

12) Play spin the bottle - on the to-do list.

13) Take a hot air balloon ride - also on the to-do list.

14) Bungee jump from a bridge - Will have to wait until Sonya has better head-control.

15) Date online - Haven't had a chance! We're still waiting for internet at the apartment. What really astonished me here in Canada, though, is that all internet plans give you an amount of data you can transfer per month. They may as well charge me per liter of air I breathe.

16) Moon somebody - see #8.

17) Pimp your ride - we don't have a car yet, but did rent one last week to drive to the US border to get Sonya's visa (long story). We figured that, while we had it, we may as well move our mountain of suitcases from the hotel to the apartment and go get some essentials at Walmart. In order to accommodate all our stuff, I upgraded our rental car to the largest sedan size they had - but declined the spinner rims option.

18) Get shot out of a cannon - I'm guessing that, if all goes well, the experience leaves a person disoriented, deaf, and with a pounding headache. Up until about five days ago, Sonya would regularly scream inconsolably for about two hours every night. I think the only difference between these two activities is that, in the aftermath, we didn't smell like gunsmoke.

19) Kiss a stranger - Here in Montreal they observe many French customs, one of them being the two-cheek smooch greeting/farewell. Since arriving I've had an opportunity to peck a fair number of unfamiliar faces.

20) Splurge on something frivolous - Messenger bags are the *thing* here in Montreal. Everybody wears them! I went out and purchased a bag made by ManhattanPortage. A frivolous purchase? Certainly not - the bag is just the right size for my laptop! On the other hand, Mitali observed that I already own two backpacks and three laptop messenger bags - all in perfect condition. She might have a point there, but I'm considering the question still open for debate.

21) Go skinny dipping - The one way we've found Sonya likes taking a bath is if I hold her through it. As she's now outgrown the sink, there's really no way for me to do this except by getting into the bathtub as well.

22) Runaway and join the circus - I think the circus might seem just a bit too tame after the past two months of our life.

23) Go crazy - Done. See #1 - #30.

24) Drop it like it's hot - If by "it", you mean Sonya just after she's had a huge, diaper-busting, leaking-out-the-back, looks-like-mustard poops, then I can check this one off. Mitali and I often jockey to be the one *not* to change these, which often turns into something that probably looks a bit like hot potato (played with a baby) to the casual observer.

25) Play strip poker - What's strip poker but gambling while taking off clothes? This is basically the definition of changing Sonya's diaper. The Play: remove her first diaper. The Wager: she's going to pee all over. If she does, you start peeling off her urine-soaked clothes (the Strip). If your luck has really run out, she manages to get you too and you start taking off some of your clothes as well.

26) Write your memoir - Started this blog! I hope that counts...

27) Go skydiving - Still on the to-do list.

28) Call a party line - Not really necessary since Montreal is pretty much the strip/topless bar capitol of North America (according to GQ, what lacks in quantity, they have in quality). What's really handy is that downtown they put these animated neon signs in their windows which leave little to the imagination. This way you get to be part of the action for no charge at all.

29) Cry over lost youth - Sonya is getting older! About a week ago she started smiling. She's now starting to get interactive. Every day she seems to develop some new aspect of her personality. And while it's so exciting to see her growing up, I can't help but feel a welling nostalgia when I realize that she'll never be the way she was yesterday again.

30) Live it up! - These past few weeks, Mitali and I often look at each other and agree that we are happier now than we have ever been. I don't think it is despite all the changes and demands being placed on us. I'm certain that it's *because* of the long nights, the screaming, the dirty diapers, the quiet moments of holding a cooing Sonya, the random shopping trips, discovering Montreal, assembling furniture, unpacking, and setting up my office. I truly feel alive every moment of every day. I'm not under any delusions that I'm enjoying every moment, in the sense of non-stop fun. Nonetheless, it is a great blessing to live so that every moment is building on the last and that not a single second slips by unnoticed and untouched.

The Adventure Seat

My PhD advisor and his wife generously gave us a nifty car seat that can detach from its base in the car and reconnect to a metal frame with wheels in order to become a stroller. Because of its versatility, we call it the "Adventure Seat". In general, Sonya loves this new seat, sitting quite contentedly in it for over an hour at a stretch. However, it's come to my attention that Mitali and I as early parents may be creating some rather unintended associations with the term "adventure".

"Oh boy, Sonya! It's time to get in the adventure seat!" we said several days ago as we strapped her in. What we didn't realize at the time was that she had just taken a colossal dump. Thus, as we placed her in the adventure seat and clicked the over-shoulder harnesses into the buckle at her crotch, we inadvertently strapped her butt cheeks into whatever she had just deposited in her diaper. We then proceeded to drive downtown, wondering why she was crying. "We know you want to get out, Sonya," we cooed over and over, chalking up her complaints to a general dislike for being confined. Finally, after what must have seemed like eons in baby time, we reached our destination, got her out, and discovered that we had been marinating her butt in her own excrement for the duration of the ride.

Other times we have hopped into the car just as she decides she is hungry. Howling with fists clenched and face beet red, she assaults our ears with pleas for milk. Being exclusively breast-fed, there is nothing we can do until we stop the car. We try to explain this to her as lovingly as possible. "Dearest Sonya, we know you are hungry! But you need to remain safe in your seat until we stop the car! Thank you for understanding, our dearest one," we say, though I doubt she can hear us over her own pitiful, gasping wails. And even if she could, I wouldn't blame her for remaining inconsolably angry. To her, withholding milk probably seems as unreasonable as strapping her into her own poo.

"We're so excited about the many adventures we're going to have with you!" we've told her time and time again. The truth is that adventures are fun, but can be rife with discomforts that simply need to be enjoyed for what they are. I want Sonya to be patient when things get tough or painful, to know that we aren't putting her through unnecessary crap. But, as far as that goes, we have some work to do.

The Pachelbel Switch

On the scale of things that soothe Sonya, Mitali and I have discovered that Pachelbel's Canon in D ranks just below a full dose of horse tranquilizer. We stumbled across this fact during Sonya's first night at home. It was around 2 AM and she was crying inconsolably. In a moment of brilliance, Mitali thought to play some classical music. As it happened, the first song she played was Pachelbel's Canon. Sonya immediately stopped crying and listened to the entire piece. Overwhelmed with joy, that very night we threw every version of that song we owned into the ultimate Pachelbel play list. Now armed with this potent sedative, during the day when Sonya so much as whimpers with discontent, we subject her to the most comprehensive collection of Pachelbel's Canon performances ever experienced by a human being: first comes the a cappella version, followed by a string quartet, a guitar solo, an improvisational piano, a lulling harp, a brass band, and the list goes on. When it's bedtime we gently massage her neurons again with the magical composition.

My only concern in using Pachelbel's Canon so liberally is that we are forging a deep Pavlovian association in her mind that could create issues for her later in life. I can only imagine the disastrous consequences of her enrolling in a high school music appreciation course: one day the teacher will start class with the opening of Pachelbel's Canon, inadvertently throwing the switch in Sonya's mind, prompting her to immediately collapse headfirst into a snoring, drooling heap on her desk.

However, for the time being, all three of us are deeply grateful to Mr. Pachelbel and the melodious opus that continues to bring so much calm and quiet to our minds, our spirits, and our home.

The Miracle of Sonya's Birth

It's now been over a week since Sonya was born. Looking back on the events surrounding her birth, I agree with every seemingly-exaggerated statement that has ever been used to describe the experience. I felt so proud to be there supporting Mitali through her labor. I discovered an unwaning admiration for her ability to deliver a baby with such poise, composure, and courage. When Sonya's head first appeared, I experienced a moment of sheer wonder at how life enters this world. As I caught Sonya and placed her on her mother's tummy, I was shocked at how slippery a freshly delivered baby is. After the nurses had taken Sonya to be warmed, weighed, and measured, I stood beside the delivery gurney, held Mitali's hand, and gave her kisses, overwhelmed by gratitude and love.

However, it was not until nearly thirty minutes later, when I experienced the miracle people always talk about. The delivery room had been cleaned up, Mitali was taking a shower, the nurses had all left to attend to other patients, and I was holding Sonya. The nurses had swaddled her tightly so that only her face and renegade left hand were visible. Her big eyes were open and looking around. I gazed down at her. "I love you, little Sonya," I said, giving her tiny, blanketed chest a squeeze with my hand. I raised my head and then felt a warm and soft touch on my finger. I looked back down to find Sonya's small hand grasping mine. I smiled and moved my finger back and forth cherishing this moment. My daughter had a firm grip and she was holding onto me.